As I recently completed my studies, I've been taking some time out and catching up on some pleasurable activities. Catching up with family and friends (remember me?), reading for fun rather than out of necessity, watching movies.
The photo above comes from the John Malkovich movie Colour Me Kubrick in which he plays Alan Conway, a man who passed himself off as the film director Stanley Kubrick. As an imposter, Alan Conway did quite well.
The photo above comes from the John Malkovich movie Colour Me Kubrick in which he plays Alan Conway, a man who passed himself off as the film director Stanley Kubrick. As an imposter, Alan Conway did quite well.
It made me reflect on earlier times during my practicum training where I experienced what my supervisor would call the 'Imposter Syndrome.' We would review my cases and, even though my asssessments and interventions would be well thought out and appropriate, I'd be plagued by self-doubt. In reports to referrers, I'd underplay my role in the treatment of the patient. I felt as if it would only be a matter of time before someone would catch me out, call me for being a fake.
An understandable response really when starting out. I was always afraid that my lack of knowledge would be found out. With time, and great supervision, my confidence grew and I realised it was not only acceptable to not have all the answers but realistic too. This stage was only a start point and I faced a lifetime of continued learning and development, along with many others in various career paths.
Now that it's time to move on from study and away from supervised practice, I sense that same feeling returning a little. This time I understand it a little better and can recognise it for what it is and where it's coming from. I'm ruminating about what to do next in terms of work, further study, this blog..and, of course, rumination is typically associated with poor problem-solving and little action. I'd have been a good case study for my rumination thesis!
Imposter syndrome is a common phenomenon, often associated with high achievers (not that I'm including myself in that!!) I wonder how many of you have experienced something similar and how you dealt with it.
Oh, and if you haven't caught the movie, I highly recommend it. John Malkovich, as always, is fabulous.
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