Thursday, May 10, 2007

Everybody Lies Part 2

I'm thinking the House t-shirt should be mandatory wearing in our household currently. Our house is on the market and we're also looking for somewhere new. Lies seem to be the order of the day, not only from some of the agents trying to sell us a property (for '4 bedrooms' read '3 bedrooms and a linen cupboard' and that 'drive through garage'? Well, yes, if you drive through a brick wall), but also from the agent selling our house ('Oh, didn't we tell you about the additional advertising costs?', 'We have loads of qualified buyers looking in your street', later revised post-signup to 'We aren't expecting big numbers for your street' and a single visit). I found out yesterday that we had been lied to about a bid on a property we were interested in, simply, I guess, with the aim of forcing our hand to make a higher bid and before we were ready.

Of course, it's not only the agents. We're living a lie. Every morning I strip off our regular bedding and put on the new, expensive coverlets and decorative pillows. I remove our bathroom towels and put out brand new ones. I set out pretty baskets of expensive smelling soaps and face washes in the bathrooms. Everything gets stowed away. Do we really live like this? Absolutely not.

The whole process is extremely stressful and I can't wait for it to be over. Practical Man and I keep bouncing the words 'SERENITY NOW' (thanks, Seinfeld) off each other. The fact we are yelling it is probably not a good sign.

So, it seemed an appropriate moment to revisit and implement some stress busters.

Good stress busters can include:

Taking time out to do something creative. I have been thinking about sneaking out in the dead of night to draw 'devil horns' on the smiling face of our real estate agent on the sign board outside but, while this might be personally satisfying, I'm not sure it would count in this respect.

Enjoy a laugh. Watch a good comedy. Maybe we should revisit that Seinfeld 'Serenity Now' episode.

Relaxation practice. Closing eyes and focusing on breathing. Except when I close my eyes, in a kind of Sixth Sense moment, 'I see real estate agents'.

Practice postive self-talk/affirmations. It's true that the way in which we think can determine the way we feel. 'I will fire that real estate agent', 'I will fire that real estate agent'. Yes, feeling better already.

Give yourself the spa treatment. Relax in a nice, warm bath, filled with luxuriously scented bubbles, surrounded by candles. Of course, the moment I do this, the agent will call for a viewing. Even a real estate agent might have trouble selling the unsual house feature of 'cranky prune-like woman in bathtub'.

Joking aside, these are some good strategies for coping with the immediate experience of stress. Anything else work for you? Ultimately, I think what's really going to work for me at this moment, is to sell this house. Anyone want a weekender in Sydney?


patientanonymous said...

This was funny. Oh you made me laugh but not at your expense! I have never done it (either purchased or sold real estate) but it's a major stressor.

What works for me? Nothing. I suck at "Self-Soothing Behaviour." While in hospital I was asked to watch this DVD by Marsha Linehan. Good lord, I almost fell asleep. Or wandered off re: not being able to concentrate. Let me tell you, that woman needs to...I don't know. Dress better for starters. And work on her "public speaking" skills.

Maybe that's a good self-soothing behaviour or skill? Go out and get yourself a Linehan DVD and watch that. Or not. Yes, it did bore me but at times it frustrated me and I was tempted just to turn the damn thing off and return back to my current state of anxiety. I did watch it all though as I felt guilty not doing so. Perhaps, it's a toss up as to whether her boring "lectures" would lull you into a coma or not.

I guess if I had to think, I tend to use movies as escapism? But sometimes I just get so scattered and unfocused I can't deal with getting through them and lose interest. Going to an actual theatre or cinema might help as it would get me out of my immediate environment. I am actually trying to read a book right now. This is monumental.

jumpinginpuddles said...

sat here with chills up and down our spine oh how could we forget that selling part it was horrible and buying wasnt much better.

psychgrad said...

Not looking forward to the house-hunting process.

"SERENITY NOW" has become a common expression at my place...along with several other Seinfeldism.

HP said...

Hi PA,
Majorly stressed here, even though I should know better! :) You're right, movies are a good escape though as long as they don't feature real estate agents!

Agreed. Buying can be fun but only if you manage to get what you want without any competition....but then you start wondering...why is no one else interested? Ha!

Hi Psychgrad,
Apparently, the rental process is even more stressful here currently. Either way, you increase the risk of premature greying.

Dr. Deb said...

I know what you mean. Sometimes we need to put on a good show.

mckay said...

my best advice? if your frustrated with your agent, get a good recommendation from someone who was thrilled with theirs, and fire one and hire the other. i was able to break the contract agreement i had with the first sucky agent and 'move' forward with a much more credible and successful agent.
i was amazed at how much smoother things went after the switch.

LOL at your switching out the spreads, towels and soaps. great idea! real life doesn't sell houses. people want the fantasy. go look at any model home - they tell a story to get people hot and bothered over the property.

as i look around my home right now..the story says, "get off the internet and get the laundry done!"

i'll say a prayer to st. joe for ya.