Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Great Expectations

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Valentine's day.

For many a day of great expectations. For some, happily met. For others, disappointment.

My partner isn't particularly romantic. Flowers to him are simply 'dead presents'. He doesn't get chocolate (which works in my favour sometimes). Practical is his middle name. His idea of a perfect Valentine's gift would be a set of kitchen knives for me and a cordless drill for him. So, last year, when a huge bunch of flowers turned up unexpectedly, I found myself wondering if I really knew the man?

Interrogated later, he happily admitted he'd got the flowers for free. We'd earlier sent a bouquet to my mother in the UK and it had got delivered late. The company offered a make up bouquet. Practical Man snapped it up. Still, the thought was there?

I never set much store by Valentine's Day. The real winners are the card companies, the flower shops and the stores. All prompting you to buy this, that or the other for your loved one. I also think about those who might find themselves alone on Valentine's Day. Perhaps they've recently broken up with or lost someone, not found the right person to share their lives with or simply prefer to be single. If you're not in the latter group, Valentine's Day, with all it's manufactured love and romance, can be right in your face.

For those whose expectations are not met on Valentine's Day, remember to try and put it into perspective. What happens (or rather doesn't happen) on Valentine's Day should not be a deal breaker in a relationship. Far more important is how you're treated every single other day of the year.

Resources
Surviving Valentine's Day A lighthearted look at Valentine's Day and singledom

8 comments:

Alison said...

I love how hubby got the third degree over the flowers, that's a classic. He's GOT to be Australian surely? Or is that just a "Blokes all over the World" thing? Hee hee hee...

tkj said...

Haha I had to cheer for practical man on this one...

I'm the latter group, but I hate huge v-day plans for today! It all got destroyed by an overnight blizzard though...darn this weather conspiring against me!

Dr. Deborah Serani said...

I've never been a big fan of Valentine's Day and New Years Eve. These celebratory days seem to make those who are not in a significant or casual relationship feel unworthy.

Donna said...

I'm with Deb. I'm not a big fan of Valentine's Day either. I think it's a holiday created by the card companies. Besides, it's not fair to those that don't have a significant other.

jumpinginpuddles said...

we couldnt care less in fact it was our hubby who remembered not us :P

Patient Anonymous said...

I have neer been a fan of "commercialized" holidays. I don't feel you need to have a designated "Day" to express something to someone. You should do it whenever you feel like it.

That being said, I have participated in the "Valentine's Day Ritual." I do know that it is important to some people and that should be respected. If "simple" gestures can carry that much weight then they are surely worth it for the other person's sake?

Although, now having become part of the "ritual" that is not meaningful to *me* I often wonder if I need to keep it up? That is just one of the reasons that I dislike these stupid holidays! It does set up expectation for some people!

I remember when I was a teenager in high shcool and they had a program where you could send flowers to other students. Are you mad?! Talk about crushing already fragile hearts and egos! You could *feel* the disappointment when certain people didn't get a rose from someone when they desperately wanted one.

And even as little children when you'd circulate your little "valentines" and someone wouldn't drop one in your little box or bag!
Yes, again, absolute devastation!

As for me? I couldn't give a (fill in the blank.) No one need buy me anything! If you were to, I would certainly appreciate it but it's really not necessary.

mckay said...

a very good post, pych, i've never been fond of VD..

.too much pressure to perform some romantical gesture on a particular day. i fall for the mush and feel the tug of loss when nothing happens, yet i still don't like the pressure, the day.

personally, a well written note can mean so much more than a bouquet (she says, not quite believing it...wild daisies are good...) ...when one gets neither, one can seek solace in friends and family. a valentine from a child can fill a huge hole.

HP said...

Hi Alison,
Such unusual behaviour requires the Spanish Inquisition. Australian. Good call!

Hi TKJ,
Ah, men stick together. Hope you made up for your quashed Valentine's plans.

Hi Deb,
Agree totally. My daughter made Valentine's for the cats..I thought that pretty cute though.

Hi Donna,
Thanks for visiting. Card companies, florists, chocolatiers...all do very well out of it.

Hi JIP,
VD happens to be our cat's birthday. Hence we remembered, otherwise, forget it.

Hey Patient Anonymous,
The school thing is awful. I mostly went to an all girls school so it wasn't so bad. The last two years of high school was co-ed and it was just painful for many people. Selling roses at school? Aiee.

Hey McKay,
A well written note can never be undervalued...talking of which, I owe several letters.....