I tuck, he doesn't. I pull the covers up, he throws them off. He snores, I don't (denial is a beautiful thing).
Despite the new bed, sleep issues remain. He recently moved out to another room while my daughter moved in because she was sick. The anticipated peaceful night became part of the dream I might have had if I hadn't spent the entire night removing arms from out of my face and feet from the small of my back.
It doesn't surprise me therefore that someone finally stepped up and wrote a book about the psychology of sharing a bed. Two in a Bed: The Social System of Couple Bed-sharing by Dr. Paul Rosenblatt looks at some of the common and often humorous issues couples face when sharing a bed, including spooning, sheet-stealing and, yes, snoring.
Couples interviewed in the book decribed adjustments they had to make in order to sleep with their bed partner. These included conflicts over bedroom temperature, the famous "Tuck", what was acceptable behaviour in bed among other things.
“Each couple had to do a lot of problem solving to work out their systems for sleeping together. How they arrived at these systems could be said to mirror their relationships. The most successful systems were those formed out of compromise and sensitivity to the other’s needs." Dr. Rosenblatt.
The book is applauded by Dr. Neil B. Kavey, a psychiatrist and director of the Sleep Disorders Center at New York-Presbyterian/Columbia University Medical Center.
“These are all things that no one teaches you how to cope with. There’s no counseling in this regard, but there should be.”
We settled the eating in bed dilemma (he did it, I hated it) early on after an unfortunate and messy accident with a sneaky late night bowl of pasta. We continue to struggle with other issues.
There's plenty of tips for good sleep hygiene . They are helpful if we're talking about one person with sleep difficulties. The shared bed is an entirely different matter.
Any horror stories or successful sharing strategies?