Saturday, October 20, 2007

Does my bum look big in this?

Had to pinch this photo from The Daily Telegraph. Not sure what the story is, not sure I even want to know but I deemed this photo a perfect fit for this post.

Asking Practical Man such a question would result in an emphatic, negative response. I'm sure he thinks to do otherwise could place him in very dangerous territory.

He's not alone apparently. I read last week that we lie, on average, twenty times a day. I was surprised but then got to think about the little white lies, the moments where we feel it necessary to be 'economical with the truth.' Different story. Easy to clock up 20 mini-porkers.

"Want to come to the movies tonight?" says a friend. "Ah, what a shame, " says me, "unfortunately I'm tied up." A shame? This is a friend who talks incessantly through movies, starting long before the opening credits are out and not stopping to take a breath from that point forward. We've talked about it, she knows I hate it, nothing changes. We're just different. So do I really say 'sorry but I'd rather spend an hour and a half dragging my nails down a blackboard than watch a movie with you?' Nope, I think not. I like my friend, I like to hear what she has to say, just not while trying to watch a movie.

Brad Blanton, a US psychotherapist, would say I have it all wrong. Brad advocates Radical Honesty, based on the premise that we'd all be happier if we were just brutally honest with each other. Saying how we really feel can reduce stress and allow us to experience a deeper level of communication and love. He must be on to something. His self-published book 'Radical Honesty: How to Transform your Life by Telling the Truth' is a best seller and his radical honesty workshops sell out.

I can see how saying what you're really thinking could be liberating but what about the potential impact on the recipient? Personally, I feel levels of stress would increase and communication, while it may be deeper, might not be at all positive if I didn't censor my thoughts before opening my mouth sometimes.

Back to the bum question. Would Practical Man's health improve if he said it like it is? For some reason, he's not stepping up to be an experimental guinea pig.


SeaSpray said...

I couldn't be the kind of honest that hurts people needlessly.

Yes, constructively for a better outcome or to protect from a greater harm/embarrassment.

Words hurt and cut through to the spirit and we remember the hurtful ones. I think words can be more destructive than physical injury in certain situations.

I agree with you that levels of stress would increase - mine would anyway if I thought I hurt someone.

Dreaming again said...

if it was someone who I had known for a long time ...and I thought they were trying to help me gain self improvement, I would take it as such ...if it was someone I'd just been to an event with one time ... I'd be terribly insulted ..hurt and ... given me, who I am ... it would cause issues the person who said it would NEVER find out about. They'd never know they hurt me, but the hurt would cut extraordinarily deep.

There are certain people who bring out the 'talker' in me ..they just do ... others ..not so much.

It would just depend on the situation involved ...